Hop along to Puberty

This weekend box office marked one of the first feature films about the Easter Bunny, aptly named "Hop," a safe children's film about a talking CGI Rabbit that poops Jelly Beans. So how does this film relate to puberty you may be asking? Its not hard to see if you're well above the age demographic for this movie. It pretty much hits you in the head with its CGI Rabbit phallus. Lets run through it shall we? Outside of the establishing shot of Easter Island, it shows a very thin handled gold scepter with a rather bulbous ruby ornament, to the older, yet still very immature, it looks like a penis and the first shot of it is it being carried overhead on a pillow through a hallways that looks oddly like a vagina. If this wasn't the only instance I would not be posting this, but thankfully it is not. So the Son of the Easter Bunny, named "E.B." doesn't want to be the Easter Bunny he wants to be a drummer then marry Katy Perry. Like all movie parents, the Easter Bunny doesn't want none of that Jelly Bean and tells his kid no, you can't drum and Katy Perry is in an open relationship with Elmo and the Cookie Monster. Doing what movie kids do they use magic transporters to get the Hollywood sign somehow. And thus the second hit with rabbit dick happens. The Easter Bunny sends out the "Pink Berets" to get his son back and make him come back and be an adult. Which is what happens when you hit puberty, you have to put kid stuff behind (for the most part) and take responsibilty. And if that wasn't enough later in the film useless human main character finds said "Pink Berets" and says the words "Hey, you aren't so scary in person," just like puberty. People say it is bad but it is not so bad when you go through it. Then after that exchange they pelt his face with darts, they represent zits ( I did not come up with that allegory). And if that wasn't enough the Pink Berets names are, Fluffy, Patch and Bit, I mean come on! Its so plain to see. And as you already know he goes back and accepts his fate, but the movie cannot end the sexual ambiguty there, oh no. Somehow useless human character is in Easter Island Poop Factory, He becomes the co-easter bunny somehow and the Easter Bunny makes him kneel and touch his now glowing phallic scepter, then after he is "dubbed" the human takes his hand and looks at it like there is now something on it. So that is how Hop is Puberty. Oh and the Spanish Head Chick that wants to be a Rabbit and gets his wish by becoming a rabbit? Sex Change Operations.