Ah Doctor Emmet Brown. Everyones favorite quasi-pedo science dude right after Bill Nye the molestation guy. After the events of Part 3 (yes it is canon) what happens to Doc Brown? He brought his family back from 1860's west to now 1980's Pine Valley. So lets go over the implications of that shall we? First of all they can't drink the water. They are used to water filled to the brim with alkaline metals and parasites that get stuck in your urethra if given a chance. Also, Mercury was the Kool-Aid of the time so all the kids wanted it mixed with a heaping helping dose of cocaine (or as they call it crazy sugar), They would not have that shit if it wasn't in their favorite lead drinking container. The first drink of water they get will cause them dysentary. If I remember correctly he had two sons so the youngest will die a horrid poopy death. So cross his name off the list. Next up is general intellegence. With the aforementioned mercury colonics smartness goes down with every silvery ounce that goes up the bum. So I assume the kid is 12ish, so assuming he got one everyday (It was kept secret from Doc Brown) he got 4380 anal cleanings. So with that he has to intellect of a European Tick. So you know what he goes and does to get himself killed? He thinks the Families nuclear reactor is a microwave and cooks a pizza pocket in it. Unbeknownst to him there was a recall on those pocket pizzas pertaining to the cheese accidently being replaced with whale semen. So he dies because he has a seafood allergy.So there goes number two. All that is left is the wife, being a native of 1860's America and one of the first settlers to the west, outside of Clint Eastwood, she has a general intolerance for non-whitey. And it being modern day California your nieghbor could be Pakistani and his nieghbor could be a Best Korea refugee (If your nieghbor is a Best Korea refugee, please call Kim Jong Il and report them. He misses them for tea) So with that, she will make some racist remark and get thrown in jail for a hate crime and if Skinimax documentaries on womens prisons are true she will be killed the most kinky way possible. Possibly with a toilet wine colonic gone wrong. Doc is hurt because he lost everything. Marty becomes Micheal J Fox and wants nothing to do with him. So he decides to take time into his own hands.
So how does this equate to vampirism? Easy. Doc uses his time train or DeLorean to time warp to steal TARDIS, probably from the 9th Doctor while he is pedophiling for Manchester United. Using Duct Tape he activates TARDIS and gets the DeLorean to 88 thus taking him to two pasts or a future past or something. The duct tape may interfere with it who knows. So he gets to a Vampire earth and contracts it. Using his awesome gentic skills he puts Einstien's Brain (the dog) in the body of a dragon. Living life and such, his wife dies of vampirbeetus leaving him, his young daughter and dragon dog. So he goes back to regular Earth and tries to start anew. The keep the drogon dog underneth the stairs. His daughter needs a husband and he wants grandkids. Being the only Vamps in a world of non-vamps. He crafts her a husband from spare parts. They immediatly fall in love and wed. But a Frankenstien Monster and Vampire cannot mate! Something to do with the clitoris, I don't know. So he uses gene splicing to craft a child, but sadly he didn't clean dog hair out of the test tubes and it came out with lycanthropy. Also known as werewolfism. But they love the child anyway and that is how the Munsters came to be.
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